Vampires Don't Sparkle
by Snapjinx
Summary: Henry and Nikola are sent on a mission of utmost importance. Kind of. Not really. First attempt at crack-fic, crossover with Twilight. Pre-"Sleepers." Rated T for violence and some naughty expletives. :P
1. Chapter 1

**A/N.** Okay, so I haven't actually read _Twilight_. This is based on what I've seen in the first two movies, and what my friends (who are fans) have told me about the series. Naturally, it's pretty anti-Twilight and very pro-Sanctuary. I love how Henry and Nikola interact, so this one's all about them. Warning, lots of death, but it's comic. This is my very first crack fic, so reviews are appreciated even more than normal. And, under normal circumstances, they're like bread and water to this starving artist.

**Random Historical Fact: **This one's not too major, but I felt I should put it in. The real Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison had an epic rivalry and Tesla pretty much lost in history's eyes. After all, before Sanctuary, which did you hear more about?

Oh, and also—I still do not own Sanctuary.

* * *

_**Vampires Do NOT Sparkle**_

* * *

"Maaan, we _suck_."

Henry Foss accompanied his whining with a solid kick to an innocent can lying on the sidewalk. Gliding next to the techie, Nikola Tesla gave him a barely-interested sidelong look.

"I'd advise you to explain yourself before you go lumping _me _into that statement."

Henry stopped walking and Nikola grudgingly did as well. Before they left the Old City Sanctuary, Helen had given him her death-glare in order to eke out a promise that he would protect the sheltered young technical genius at all costs. Naturally, Nikola took "all costs" to mean stopping just short of giving his life for another's, but it didn't mean he could just walk away from the stubborn werewolf in the middle of unexplored territory.

"Look at us," Henry said, throwing his arms wide. "Everyone else is hunting down some crazy-dangerous abnormal. Will, Kate, the doc, the Big Guy, even _Druitt_—"

"Don't remind me," Nikola groaned at the last name.

"—and we're in a half-deserted town in the northern USA, following a tip that there might be _vampires_."

"Well, in actuality, I requested to investigate this rumor and Helen insisted that someone she trusts accompany me. So, to use your own words…_you _suck."

Henry glowered and started walking. "Come on," he muttered.

Nikola smirked and resumed his brisk saunter. For several minutes, the two abnormals moved in silence, observing citizens who observed them right back. The mass scrutiny made Henry feel awkward and walk with hands in his pockets, but Nikola strutted on with head held high.

Henry was a few inches shorter than Tesla, but solid. He filled out his graphic tee obviously. That, plus the vest, ripped jeans, Chuck Taylor All-Stars, and random jewelry made him look like a rock star. He had serious stubble and messy brown hair. In a word—scruffy. Another word—adorable.

Nikola was perfect opposition. Fair skin, clean-shaven, tall, and slender. Any muscle he had was lean and fit trimly in his tailored suit. The suit itself looked like he'd stepped out of the 1800s. His electrified dark hair somehow looked perfectly arranged and he walked with one forearm against his stomach like a true gentleman.

Put simply, both men were handsome and truly unique.

People stared.

"Dude, this is creepy," Henry hissed out of the side of his mouth, presently.

"Are you uncomfortable under the scrutiny of mere mortals?" Nikola murmured back. "No wonder Helen didn't want you on the _serious_ mission."

Henry glared and Nikola detected a low, inhuman growl for a brief moment before Henry restrained it. Tesla smiled and looked back ahead.

"Relax, Tiny Tim. We're nearly there."

*There*

Henry knocked because he knew Nikola would never deign to do something that trivial. They had only seconds to wait before the door swung open to reveal a pale, golden-eyed waif of a child with ridiculous blond hair. Nikola quirked one eyebrow.

"Oh, look! A taciturn fellow with pale skin. He _must _be a—"

"_Hiiii_!" Henry quickly cut him off, speaking to the golden-eyed teen. "I'm Henry Foss. We're from the General Medical Council. Could we talk to Dr. Cullen?"

It was a good cover and one they'd rehearsed, but the boy only blinked, moving nothing else. Nikola's chronic impatience eventually forced him into speaking.

"Are you _deaf_?"

He still said nothing.

"Ugh, this is a waste of time," Nikola growled and spun on his heel.

"Hello!" A spiky black head popped in over the mute child's shoulder. Her eyes were golden as well.

"Ah, someone speaks," Nikola muttered. "Is your father in?"

"Not right now, but he should be soon. Come on inside!"

"Thanks," Henry said with a grateful smile.

The house was bright and spacious. Henry and Nikola were led into a sitting room where the entire family was apparently gathered. The girl (who introduced herself as Alice) began making introductions.

The older woman was Esme.

The bulky kid in designer sweats was Emmet.

The silent boy was Jasper.

The gorgeous blond eyeing Nikola and Henry hungrily was Rosalie.

"…and this is Edward and his girlfriend, Bella."

Edward was a terribly funny-looking boy slouched on the couch. The only non-golden-eyed being in the room was cuddled close to him. Upon seeing Edward's attempt at a brooding attitude, Henry snorted in an effort to restrain his laughter and coughed to cover it. Nikola gave the werewolf a warning glance to control himself.

"Everybody, this is Henry Foss and…" Alice frowned at Nikola. "I don't think you said your name."

Nikola smiled politely. "You are correct."

"And why, exactly, does the GMC need to speak with Carlisle?" Esme spoke up.

"Nothing conclusive yet, ma'am," Henry replied with a reassuring smile.

"Well, it can't be a complaint," Bella piped in. "Everyone loves Carlisle."

"Yes, well, everyone adores Edison as well, and he was a bastard of _epic_ proportions," Nikola snapped.

Before the confused Cullens could speak, Nikola turned to Henry and shook his head, regretfully. "As I said. Waste of time."

Then he turned with his usual flourish and exited the room.

"Excuse us," Henry said, smiling and backing out after the vampire.

He caught up with Tesla at the front door and blocked the vampire's progress, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Are you sure? I mean, they're really pale…"

"Yes, and all pale people are vampires," Nikola said sarcastically. Then he dropped the smirk. "Their eyes. All of them gold? They're not vampires. This is a different species entirely."

"They must be some kind of undiscovered abnormal," Henry concluded.

"I fail to see how that is our problem."

Without waiting for a response, Nikola strode around the werewolf and made for the door. There was a blur of white and Emmet was suddenly standing between Nikola and his goal. Before the Sanctuary men could blink, they were surrounded in the front hall. The normal girl stood outside the circle, hugging herself as if incomplete without her abnormal boyfriend.

"Hey, hey!" Henry raised both hands.

"You know about vampires," Edward growled very unthreateningly. "We can't let you leave."

Henry's eyes danced from one to the next, nervously, but Nikola remained focused on Emmet—the obstacle between him and the door.

"Hm, well, at least they appear to exhibit vampiric heightened hearing," the genius muttered to himself as if observing an experiment. "That's _something_, I suppose."

"Now do you want to stay?" Henry hissed sideways out his mouth.

"They're not vampires," Nikola reiterated. "Therefore, I have no interest in them, nor do I care what becomes of them. This is Helen's department."

"Enough babbling," Esme said. "If you'd please come back into the front room—"

Nikola's voice was smooth, low, and threatening when he spoke with a dangerous curve of a smile. "I don't think so."

"And what're you gonna do about it, little man?" Emmet growled.

He was, unfortunately, just about as threatening as Edward had been, and Henry once again had to induce a coughing fit to keep from laughing rudely. Nikola's smile remained where it was, as if he was so surprised, he couldn't keep from being amused.

"Well, one option—and certainly the one that springs to mind right away—is I could just kill you all—"

"Tesla…" Henry warned in a low growl.

"—_however_," Nikola finished, "I know a lovely woman who will kill me—or at least try very, very hard—if I were to cause the extinction of an unknown abnormal species moments after its discovery."

"What are you talking about…abnormal?" Bella spoke up, looking terribly confused.

"Don't tax your tiny little brain," Nikola sniped. "I wouldn't want it to explode on me. This is a new suit."

Edward took a threatening step forward—or at least the Sanctuary abnormals assumed it was _meant_ to be threatening.

"What?" Nikola asked innocently. "I can't talk to her?"

With a snap, Nikola's black claws slid out and he grinned to reveal his wide grin of shark fangs. Smiling, he roved black eyes over his thin fingers and solid claws, like a killer inspecting his murder weapon of choice.

"Holy shit!" Jasper yelped.

"Ahh, it speaks," Nikola said, amused. His voice had deepened to the layered, powerful timbre of his vampire ancestors.

"_Tesla_…" Henry warned again.

After a moment of palpable tension, Nikola's vampiric side vanished with a blink and a snick. Henry turned his attention to the Cullens.

"Okay, listen, we're not really from the GMC. We're from a place called the Sanctuary—a place to keep people like you safe."

"People like us?" Rosalie asked, tracing a finger down Henry's arm.

"Er, yeah," he said, uncomfortably.

"You see, we initially came here to seek out vampires," Nikola cut in. "I had hoped to find some of the Old Ones in hiding. However, you are clearly not them, and so we must go."

"But," Henry cut back in, "if you're ever in trouble, here's our card. You seem like you've got it pretty settled here, though. You have a lovely home. Nice to meet you."

Esme accepted the card and Henry moved for the door as he rambled, but none of the Cullen's moved out of the way.

"We really are vampires, though," Alice piped up.

"Noo…" Nikola dragged the word out as if speaking to a retarded child. "_I _am a vampire. _You _are strange, golden-eyed people with great hearing."

"We've lived for centuries," Esme said. "And we are stronger than humans, have fangs, and sparkle in sunlight."

Nikola began to correct his previous statement: "Well, then you're immortal, super-strong, golden-eyed, fanged people with…" His voice faded in genuine shock. "I'm sorry, did you say you _sparkle_?"

The Cullens all nodded solemnly.

This time, Henry failed to restrain a burst of laughter and he quickly clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. Nikola looked beyond insulted.

"You _dare _call yourself vampires?" he seethed. "I _should _kill you all and damn the consequences."

"You can try," Edward scoffed.

Nikola spun on the teen and his vampiric side came out in full-force, actually changing his facial structure. His layered voice was a pissed-off hiss. "You _sparkle_? I'm sorry, kid, but in my book that's a transvestite, not a vampire."

Henry burst out laughing and didn't try to hide it this time. As such, he was not in a position to even attempt to stop Tesla from moving. The next thing everyone in the room knew, Edward's face was looking backward and his body slumped at Nikola's feet. TBella shrieked loud enough for even Henry to wince and he didn't have superhearing. In an instant, the rest of the Cullens had launched themselves at the inventor and he calmly intercepted them.

Stunned, Henry watched with slack jaw. He really wasn't worried about Tesla getting hurt. Already, the vampire had taken out three more of the Cullens. No, Henry's mind was miles away, wondering how he was ever going to explain this to Magnus. They'd just have to avoid telling her about the family at all. Tesla would have to make the mission report then. Henry couldn't lie to save his life—especially not to his boss.

He shook himself out of the reverie when the last Cullen hit the floor with a broken neck. Nikola was barely even breathing hard when he looked up at Henry. The anger was still flashing in his oily black eyes, but he was smiling now. A proud-of-himself smirk parted his lips to show gleaming fangs.

However, before he could speak, Edward's head snapped back around and he stood up. Gradually, the other Cullens followed suit, in the order they'd been killed. Nikola merely nodded, as if entering the next phase of an experiment.

"Very well. Full decapitation then."

At that point, Henry was forced to dive through the kitchen doorway and watch from there so that he wasn't splattered in blood or run over by fake-vampires fleeing at super speed. Nikola had to chase down the Edward one, but that lead to an epic leap, claws flared. Tesla's feet connected with the boy's shoulders, knocking him to the ground, where he wrenched the head off.

Henry had to admit, it looked cool.

Breathing a bit harder now, Nikola let his vampire side fall away and cleared his throat. Whipping out a silk handkerchief, he began cleaning his hands and fixing his hair and suit. Somehow, he'd managed to barely get any blood on him, but the spots he found he hissed over, supremely irked.

Henry made his way out of the kitchen, trying to get as little gore as possible on his Converse. When he reached Tesla, the vampire looked up, still perfectly calm and at ease with what he'd done.

"Well, then. Shall we return?"

Henry noted something over Tesla's shoulder and winced. "The girl…"

Bella had watched the whole thing with a decidedly green face and was now staring at them—specifically Nikola—with such shock, Henry thought she might have just died standing up.

"Right," Nikola said. Then he shrugged. "Well, no witnesses I suppose."

"Oh, no, no!" Henry was ready this time and lunged out to grab the vampire's arm.

"She's so stupid, she's a threat to herself," Nikola argued. "Killing her would greatly benefit the human race."

"Since when have you cared about the human race?" Henry snapped back.

At that point, Bella had taken advantage of their argument to flee.

"Hm, well, maybe not so stupid," Nikola muttered.

Then they both took off after her. She got all the way to front porch before tripping fantastically and hurling herself to the ground, where she bounced up, ricocheted off a tree, and fell off a cliff.

Henry and even Nikola jerked to an awkward halt, shocked by the suddenness of it. Nikola recovered first and held out a hand to the empty space where the girl's klutziness had killed her.

"See? Danger to humanity."

Henry shook his head, massaging his temples. "Let's just hurry up and get home."

TBC

**A/N. **I plan on adding a second chapter to wrap it up, where they encounter Twilight's werewolves. ^_^ Feedback is appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N.** Okay, so I don't remember the exact details of Henry's background as laid out in the show, so I'm just gonna go with: Helen rescued him from his werewolf tribe for some reason and he could never find them again. So, the conclusion isn't as cracky as the first chapter. Parody is just not my genre, I guess. :) There _is _however plenty of gore and more Henry in this one.

* * *

_**A Werewolf With Self-Respect**_

* * *

Nikola Tesla was _not_ fun to be around when he was pissed.

_Not that Vlad's a bundle of daisies and candy under normal circumstances, _Henry reflected. The werewolf was getting more than a little irritated, himself, trying to keep up with the scowling vampire. Finally, he gave up and just settled for keeping the fuming genius within sight. There was one good thing about Nikola's distance. It meant that when Henry's cell phone rang and he glanced down to see a picture of Helen Magnus giving him a stern glare with the caller ID of "Bossman," no one else heard his little squeak of fear.

There was a soft breeze and suddenly Tesla was standing at his side. "Problems, Wolfman?"

Henry jumped at the sudden nearness of the genius. Then he took a precious few seconds of Tesla's patience to study the apparent calm on the vampire's face. "You okay?"

Nikola scoffed. "That hardly concerns you."

_Yup, back to normal, _Henry thought with a roll of his eyes.

Then he held out the ringing cell phone as if it were a scorpion. "Then _you _talk to the doc."

Nikola stared at the phone as if it were a moldy banana peel Henry had dug out of a dumpster. But he sighed heavily and snapped his slightly bloodied handkerchief out. Noticing the filth on it, he hissed and replaced it, resigning himself to having to touch the phone with his bare hands.

Flipping it open, his cold aura instantly melted into flirtation. "Hello, my dearest Helen."

"Nikola?" Helen's voice came back. "Where's Henry?"

"You know, a smaller man would be hurt by your apparent lack of interest."

"Where is he, Nikola." It wasn't a question.

"Don't worry your pretty head; he's fine," the vampire muttered. "Not a scratch, exactly as promised. Say hello, Tiny Tim."

He held out the phone and Henry managed a shaking: "H-hi, boss!"

"See?" Nikola said, back into the phone.

"He sounds terrified. What happened?"

"Unfortunately, nothing at all. Turns out, the rumor was only hearsay and we have nothing to show for it except a longing desire to return home. How about you? Been thinking about me during the cold nights in the rainforest?"

Henry had to hand it to the inventor. He'd lied without a blink and then maneuvered Magnus off onto a different topic. And one that would get her dander up, at that. It was a constant source of amusement among the "children" of the Sanctuary, seeing the great Helen Magnus all flustered and off-balance by Tesla's casual flirtation.

"We're still in the Amazon, and no, I have no desires concerning you, Nikola," Helen said. "Listen, could I speak to Henry, please?"

Nikola's eyes darted to the side and Henry's widened in realization. The young werewolf began shaking his head furiously and waving his arms. Without a noticeable pause in his conversation with Helen, Nikola responded with:

"He's driving at the moment."

"Are you still in Forks?" Helen asked.

"Just left," he lied.

"Well, turn around now. I've just gotten another tip for that area."

"How is it you are so well-informed in the middle of South America, my dear Helen?"

"Declan sent some people to take care of the Old City Sanctuary, and they're keeping tabs on incoming rumors. Now, turn around and head for the outskirts of town. Apparently there's a werewolf clan in the forests. Henry will want to check it out, and your promise to keep him safe still stands."

"Yes, milady."

Helen's voice turned teasing for the first time in their conversation. "So good at following orders."

"Only yours," Nikola growled. "Believe me."

Then he hung up and turned to see Henry's expectant face.

"Well?" the werewolf asked. "Does she want to kill us?"

"She seems to waver on that topic with me, personally, but you're in the clear."

Henry frowned. "What was all that talking then?"

"It's called conversation, Dog Breath," Nikola shot back, tossing the phone back to its owner. Henry caught it, barely, and opened his mouth to be insulted at the newest nickname, when Nikola sighed. "Apparently it's your turn to be wildly let down."

Moving for the coordinates Helen had texted, the Sanctuary men were in very different moods than they had been walking to the Cullen's. Back then, Nikola had been reservedly anxious and Henry had been pouty. Now, Nikola was bored out of his considerable mind and Henry was practically bouncing in excitement.

"You know, I think the first thing I'm going to ask is what they do about clothes," Henry piped up, finally.

Nikola swallowed a loud groan and just rolled his eyes. The techie was the talkative sort; it had only been divine provision that he'd remained silent thus far. Nikola resolved to just continue hiking through the damn woods as quickly as possible. The sooner they got the family reunion over with, the better.

"Fascinating," Tesla muttered.

"You're lucky. Vampires don't have to worry about things like that."

"It's true."

"That's half the reason I don't go full-wolf all the time."

"Understandable."

"I can't tell you the number of times I've ruined a perfectly good pair of Chucks when…"

"Mm-hm."

Nikola was planning on continuing to pretend to pay attention to Henry, when the young werewolf abruptly stepped close and dropped his chatterbox voice down a few notches.

"Tell me you heard that."

With another heavy sigh, Nikola stopped walking and listened carefully to the forest. After identifying and discarding several animal noises, he found nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hear what?" he asked, finally.

Before Henry could open his mouth, the faintest of howls broke the normal sounds of nature. Nikola and Henry both stiffened as the call was returned multiple times. The howling echoed completely around them, still very far in the distance, but unnervingly well-organized, even for a generic wolf pack.

Henry's tension melted into glee. "That's them! It's gotta be them—hah!"

He was so ecstatic, he slapped Nikola on the back without thinking. The imperious vampire coughed half from the impact and half in indignation, but Henry didn't notice. The techie allowed his animal side out only partially as he tilted his head back. His face reconstructed, eyes going acid green as his mouth and nose lengthened and melded together into a snout. Fangs protruded as he opened his jaws wide and howled as loudly as he could.

Nikola winced at the volume on his sensitive ears. After a momentary lull, the distant howls came back. Excited now, Henry howled again and paused to listen.

"Do you actually speak the language, or are you just making noises and hoping for the best, hm?"

Henry paid him no mind. Moments later, there was a rustling in the nearby branches. Tesla and Henry had only enough time to fall into a defensive position before they were surrounded by what looked to be a gang of Chippendale dancers.

Wisely, Henry snapped his werewolf face back into human appearance. "Er…hey, fellas."

"Which one of you is a werewolf?" one of the men snapped.

"Were-what?" Henry asked, innocently.

Nikola's eyes narrowed as he studied the men around them more intently. They all appeared to have the same heritage—possibly Native American—with caramel skin, black hair, and perfect sets of washboard abs. Each wore cut-off denims and each had a tattoo on their shoulder.

It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Oh _no_," Nikola groaned.

"What?" Henry asked, nervously.

"It's like a _nightmare_. The vampires are pansies and the werewolves are underwear models." Nikola groaned again before gesticulating widely. "At least the vampires were a different abnormal; these freaks are probably just a gay brotherhood or something."

The gang all started growling in a way that sounded very canine.

"We _are_ werewolves," the first speaker said.

"Really?" Henry looked confused. Then a little let down. "_Really?_"

Without a word, the man transformed into a wolf. It was not at all a transformation, though. It was more like: one second it was a man, the next second it was a rather large wolf. Henry's disappointment faded to frustration. Before anyone could speak, the man transformed back into a human. A very naked human.

"Aaugh!" Henry covered his eyes. "I will never see again! I need my eyes!"

"Well," Nikola said, thoroughly amused. "You wondered what they did with their clothes…"

"Someone lend him something, please!" Henry called, still with eyes screwed shut behind his fingers.

The naked man sniffed as if insulted. "I didn't want to come anyway. Jacob, you take over."

A younger kid stepped forward. "Which one of you is the werewolf we heard earlier?"

Nikola was very amused now, glad that someone else had to endure the hell of having one's species insulted. "He's the one you want."

Henry looked crushed at this point. Once again, the rumors proved false and he was left with informing another group of imbedded abnormals that they weren't who they thought they were.

"Listen, fellas," he began, with his best disarming smile. "I've got some bad news. You're not actually werewolves."

They stared at him, wide-eyed and unblinking.

"It seems God spent a bit too much time on their torsos and not enough on their brains," Nikola muttered, wryly.

There was a beat of silence and then one of the wannabe-werewolves in the back processed the insult. "Hey…!"

"_But_," Henry said, whipping out another Sanctuary card, "the good news is, you're still special. Just like…shape-shifters or something. You seem to have everything you need here, but if you're ever in trouble—"

One of the other men snapped into wolf form and slashed at the proffered card with a growl. Henry stared in shock at his hand, where thin lines of blood were beginning to form. His eyes flashed that vibrant green again as he lifted his gaze.

"Hey, hey, I'm on your team, dude!"

"You're not a real werewolf," Jacob growled.

"What? Yes I am!"

"No, real werewolves are tan and run around with their shirts off. What do _you _do that's so impressive?"

Henry didn't often get mad; he was too laidback for it. But now, his teeth gritted as he spat words. "Me? I'm a genius. I invent weapons, hack computer systems, take care of the security of a souped-up cathedral, bust through the occasional door or bad abnormal, and manage to keep a smile on through most of it. Plus, I'm not half-bad in a firefight."

Nikola applauded sarcastically. Henry didn't even think that was possible, but the vampire pulled it off.

"You're trespassing and we can't let you get away with our secret," Jacob went on.

"Déjà vu," Nikola said in a singsong voice from the background.

"And who are you?" Jacob snapped.

"_Moi_?" Tesla asked, all innocence. "Why, I'm a genius inventor as well, but I'm a more…elegant sort."

"Meaning…?"

"Meaning _vampire_, you idiot," Nikola snapped.

"Well, today's your lucky day," Jacob said. "We can't kill vampires because of the truce."

"That is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've heard today," Nikola said. "And believe me, if you knew what kind of day it's been…"

The other "werewolves" transformed into wolves and began growling and barking. Henry backed up to where Nikola was lounging.

"Tesla…what do we do?"

"I know you're a peace-loving sort," Nikola began, "but think of this as self-defense."

"You're not going to help?" Henry squeaked in disbelief.

Nikola smirked. "I've had my fill of bloodshed today and I really don't like fighting other people's battles." He made little shooing motions with his hands. "Go on. Have fun."

"But Tesla!" Henry's cry bordered the line of panic and whining.

"Puppies have to grow up sometime," Nikola replied.

Then the first giant wolf lunged at Henry and the techie went down with a yelp under the big mutt. Nikola experienced a split second of regret that he hadn't intervened, but his worries were assuaged when the big wolf was suddenly launched across the clearing to hit a tree.

Nikola looked back where Henry had been, and instead saw a hulking creature brushing off scraps of designer T-shirt. As he was now, Henry stood nearly eight feet tall, with shoulders that would give him trouble going through most doorways. Muscle rippled under the fur. His hands and feet were more paw-like, with razor-edged claws, and his head was fully wolf now, only the barest hints of humanity left in the shape.

Acid green eyes blazing, he gave a warning roar at the fake werewolves. Unfortunately, Nikola was correct in his assessment about their brains, and they attacked when they should have run to their mommies.

The first shape-shifter was batted into a tree, its skull caved in. The second got a werewolf foot through its wide-open mouth, ripping through the muscle to do permanent damage. A quick slash took care of the rest of its life. The next received a closed fist to the top of its head in midair, and the cracking, crushing sound was impossible to miss. Two leaped on Henry next, and the transformed techie grabbed a clawed fistful of each one's hide, smashing them into one another.

Nikola watched the ensuing gore with a growing fascination and admiration for the kid he always picked on. Henry was no longer Henry. He was an animal now, and saw no problem with taking out the threat to his life. Nikola wasn't one for violence, but the sheer power was beautiful.

Almost as much as a vampire. Almost.

After literally tearing through a dozen-plus wannabes, Henry came face to face with the Jacob one from before. Panting, muscular shoulders heaving, Henry managed to rein the animal in just enough to speak—albeit brokenly.

"Go. Now."

Instead, Jacob leaped at him, wolf jaws wide. Henry was ready for him, and swung his arm around, catching the wolf in midair with claws in its throat. With a quick rip, Jacob was no more. Finally, after releasing that last carcass to the ground, Henry collapsed next to it.

The fur and muscle faded to reveal the slightly scruffy, not-so-tan techie once again. Nikola scanned the carnage as one observes the results of an experiment. Finally, he uttered a thoughtful "Hmm" into the silence and took off at a vampiric sprint. Usually, he didn't use the full potential of his super-speed, because he hated getting sweaty, but he didn't want to leave the vulnerable werewolf alone for too long.

It took only seconds for him to get to the Cullen house, grab random clothing, and sprint back. Tossing the clothes aimlessly over the nude werewolf, Nikola set about waiting for Henry to wake up, amusing himself by investigating the sheer damage done to the wolves.

"Tesla?"

Nikola looked up. He hadn't noticed Henry wake, but the kid was standing up, fully-dressed in the borrowed clothes, and looking a bit worse for wear. He was barely standing straight and had obvious circles under his eyes, but at least he was up and around.

"Yes?" Nikola said.

"Promise you won't tell the doc about…this?"

Nikola smirked. "As long as you don't tell her about my little episode earlier."

Henry held out his hand to shake. "Deal."

Nikola sneered at the extended appendage. "I don't shake hands, Henry."

"Oh right. I think I read that somewh—waaaait! You just called me Henry!"

"Yes? And?" Nikola began walking away. "That's your name isn't it?"

"But…you don't call any of us by our real names except the doc! Is it like a sign of respect or something? Does this mean you're going to stop messing with me?"

"Shut up!" Nikola snapped. "Dear _God_, shut up. Has no one ever told you silence is golden?"

Henry obeyed, but his lips were pressed in a very proud-of-himself smile as he followed Tesla back the way they'd come. For a few moments, they walked in silence. Then Nikola abruptly spoke.

"You are aware of my plot for world domination, yes?"

"Er, only a lot."

"Well, when I succeed—"

"Not 'if'?"

"Shut up."

"Sorry."

"_When _I succeed, how would you feel about werewolves being a sort of elite police force for the ruling vampires?"

Henry legitimately thought about it before shrugging. "Alright."

Nikola blinked. "Really?"

"Sure." Henry grinned. "If you ever actually succeed in taking over the planet—meaning you got through me, the entire Sanctuary Network, and Helen Magnus herself—then I'll be your secret police."

Nikola eyed him for a moment before nodding. "Deal."

Henry stuck out his hand again, for a shake, but remembered halfway through and pulled it back. Nikola smiled.

"Brilliant. It learns."

Then he quickened his pace, eager to leave the hellish city. Henry hung his head with a deep sigh at the insult, but then lifted it with a smile again. It would be too weird if Tesla started being nicer to him. This was fine. This was their dynamic. Worse things could happen to him.

He could be one of the many cooling corpses in Forks, for instance.

**~fin~**


End file.
